Let me tell ya something, they’re quite alright to have. There were a ton of changes in my life this past year so this Christmas felt a bit forced. I decorated like 5 weeks too early to get into the spirit. Every movie I put on I would get sidetracked with other things and not even pay attention. Jerry and I went to Rose Tree Park to look at the lights and there were about 659 kids running around, we were like yo let’s get out of here and maybe never return? That’s where we got engaged so it was supposed to get me in the spirit, but it really didn’t and you want to know something: THAT’S TOTALLY OKAY.
Life throws ya curve balls. We just lost my grandpop in March (he was like a father to my fam), my grandmom broke her hip so she was in a nursing home and missing her Joey. Other relationships had changed and weren’t as strong as they used to be. They say take the lemons and make lemonade but sometimes you don’t want to, how bout that? Me and my mom couldn’t talk about my grandpop without crying and I didn’t even care. We let it flow. Ya gotta feel your feelings or they’ll explode in other ways.
Even with the downs, there were so many ups. Christmas Eve was the first time my mom and her siblings were all in the same room in Lord knows how long and my grandmom was able to experience it. We had such a nice time. It was such a nice night and I am so grateful for all that I have.
I just wanted to write up a little something for those who felt the same to let you know that you aren’t alone and it is totally fine to feel the way you feel. Things change, life changes, people come and go and if this Christmas just wasn’t your cup of tea, I bet next year will be. And if it isn’t, that is okay too.