I’ve got a feeling I’m going into labor in the next few days, maybe even today, so I wanted to document the feels. So many feels.
It is still hard for me to believe that there is a child that looks like Jerry and I in my stomach right now. Like how? Currently this babe is just bumps and kicks and limbs poking at my ribs. Seriously, a miracle.
I’m 3 days late and being such a baby about it. I go back and forth. Some points of the day are all “it’s cool, I’m cool, I’ll enjoy this sleep”. For real when I wake up I’m like, okay only a few more days of this so savor it! Then I’ll have times where I’m all “is this just me now? am I pregnant forever”? I know, I know – relax. Cut me a break! It’s been 10 months! I’m a newbie here and swore I was going early. FYI: don’t ever assume that. Big mistake. YUGE mistake.
I think it’s because I have time to feel all the feels over and over and over again. Every night I go to bed and I assume I’ll wake up to painful contractions. Is it sick I’m like excited for them? LOL, Meg. Nah. When it doesn’t happen, the feeeeeels come in. Jerry’s so good about it, and for the most part I will be until my evil twin pokes her head and is like YO LET’S GO.
I’m nervous, I’m excited, I can’t wait to meet you, I hope I like you, I hope you like me. Are you going to like Jerry more than me like Joe does? Life will change forever, I’ll need to find a new routine and change spikes my anxiety, do I have anxiety right now? Oh Christ last thing I need is my anxiety right now. Is this all normal? What is taking so long? Maybe I’ll never dilate enough?
These are the thoughts that consume me on the reg. Jerry and I are so ready but are we? Loling at this brain right now. I’m sure these thoughts are normal and if not, oh well – here they are.
The truth is, I am so unbelievably grateful for this journey. I thank God every day that my body was able to do this. To make this miracle that is going to be half Jerry and half me. Life is going to change for sure but it is for the better and we are so ready for this. I am ready at least. Poor Jerry looks like he’s seen a ghost every time I joke and tell him “THIS IS IT! IT’S THE BIG ONE”!! It makes me laugh because in those moments I know he cares just as much as I do and guys don’t always show that. He’s going to kill the dad game.
Now let’s get this show on the road, homie. I want to kiss your face.