It’s finally real. I promise you I thought I would be pregnant for the rest of my life. The fact that I am 32 weeks is so surreal. I’ve laughed, I’ve cried (a lot), I’m happy, I’m sad. I’m not exactly sure I can even recall what I ate for breakfast this morning tbh.
Thinking back on this journey it’s such a miracle that we even got pregnant. It isn’t an easy thing to do and the stars aligned for sure. This overwhelms me with gratitude, I truly wouldn’t change it for the world. I used to be so frustrated that I had to carry the baby for almost a year while Jerry’s life remained the same but now I actually feel bad that he doesn’t get the chance to experience these kicks and leaps happening in my stomach. I mean not to mention, it’s pretty bad ass that my body is not only is growing a human but somehow I’ll find the strength to push it out into the world. Then raise it? Who let this happen? Do I get a lifetime supply of wine after?
Now don’t get me wrong, pregnancy isn’t a cake walk and I don’t exactly enjoy all of it. If we’re being honest, I don’t enjoy most of it. It’s a wild ride. Oh and in the summer *L-O-L*. I really should’ve listened to the moms who would tell me “oh God you have a lonnnngg summer ahead of you” because it is in fact the longest summer of my life. I am not kidding you people that don’t even usually drink are drinking. Walking to the beach is a funny joke too because you really can’t breath to begin with and your body temp is already at 1000 degrees, so. People tell you SO MANY THINGS. Ah you’ll be fine! Eat your way through it! But that doesn’t really appeal to me. Idk maybe the thought of gaining 100 lbs on top of being a social recluse is scary to me? Working out is a huge release, love my Orange Theory classes. There’s highs and lows. Just gotta go with it.
At this point I have had enough. I’ve been through the first tri nausea and the second tri bliss. I have exactly 2 months left and I am trying my best to enjoy but I really just want to meet this baby. Dare I say I’m excited for labor? I know all of you moms out there are friggin cringing. “Omg enjoy this time alone, self-care, take a nap!” I’m sorry but that just isn’t me. I’m not a patient person, I self-care to the max regardless of being pregnant or not, and I don’t nap. Like ever. Fucking sucks but my body like refuses naps. If pregnancy isn’t for you, that is fine. I hear ya sista sledge. That doesn’t mean we aren’t grateful. I am beyonnnnddd grateful. Every day I thank God for this miracle. Sometimes I’ll be like holy shit how did this happen.
What I’ve learned.
For the love of God please do you. Do what makes you happy, not what makes your mom, significant other, or friends happy. If you don’t want to go somewhere, don’t. If you need a day off, call out. I think it is easy for people to chalk off pregnancy as simply carrying around a human for 10 months. Not the case. Your body is no longer yours. Your brain is at a rapid decline. Your shit scheduled isn’t even the same. Oh AND absolutely everyone in the world is going to get on your nerves at some point so just breathe. Huff some oils baby. It’s not going to work because it just is what it is I just want to prep you. Your significant other won’t get you, your mom forgets about her pregnancy so she won’t get you. Just don’t expect much because your hormones are going to win this one. They always win. You have to take care of YOU. Connect with those who get you. I promise, it’ll make you feel so much better.